November and Nothing

It's already November. Everyone's saying the same thing: "Can you believe it's almost over?" But honestly, I don't feel like much has changed.

 

I keep trying to remember what I actually did this year. What did I accomplish? The question just sits there.

 

Your brain does this thing with time. When your days look the same (same classes, same routine, same everything) your memory compresses all of it into one blur. That's why last month feels like yesterday but January feels like forever ago. Your brain assumes nothing important happened, so it just skips ahead.

 

We think the blur means we wasted time.

 

We're taught that standing still equals failing. Open the internet and everyone's doing something. Winning awards, traveling, achieving things. And you're just trying to get through Tuesday.

 

The thought comes up: I've done nothing this year. Ten months and nothing to show for it. No transformation. Just me, still here.

 

So we try to fix it. We pack our schedules. We join clubs. We stay busy because busy feels like proof we're not wasting our lives.

 

But maybe we're doing nothing. Maybe we're just getting through it.

 

Growth doesn't always look like something. Sometimes you got better at handling stress. Sometimes you survived weeks that felt impossible. Sometimes you just learned to cut yourself some slack.

 

That doesn't go on resumes. It doesn't get posted online.

 

But it's real.

 

Maybe this November, I didn't become someone new. Maybe I just kept going. That's it.

 

And that's fine.